


feet first, don't fall

by pageleaf



Category: Halsey (Musician), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: F/M, Getting Together, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Misunderstandings, Multi, OT3, Pining, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Sex Toys, pegging....roleplay?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-26
Updated: 2019-08-26
Packaged: 2020-09-06 12:44:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20291674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pageleaf/pseuds/pageleaf
Summary: "Ashley told me you two had talked about her fucking you someday," Hoseok continues, gleefully ignoring Namjoon's plea. "I thought maybe we could make it happen a little early."Namjoon inhales sharply. "Oh," he breathes."If you close your eyes," Hoseok murmurs, leaning in so close Namjoon shivers feeling his breath on his neck, "you can pretend it's her." He presses the dildo in, barely a few millimeters in, before pulling it back out to tease at Namjoon's hole. "It'll be like I'm not even here."





	feet first, don't fall

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [BTSPolyamFest](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/BTSPolyamFest) collection. 

> for the prompt:  
_Namjoon/Halsey + other member_  
Namjoon's long-distance girlfriend Halsey enlists one of his bandmates to help her out when she can't be there--with hugs, cuddling, handjobs, whatever. Culminating in a facetime-enabled threesome.
> 
> this got SO out of hand, i am so sorry. i hope this is satisfying for you, kind prompter! it was very satisfying for me to write, as this is a ship i've been wanting to write for a long time, so thank you for giving me the opportunity to finally do it!
> 
> also the summary makes this sound way more intense and angsty than it is. mostly it's an exploration of the dynamics of all three sides of this triangle, and how they might fit together. i feel like i could have written so much more about these three, to the point where i honestly got overwhelmed by possibility, which is why i ended up just giving some snapshots in the timeline of their relationship (in addition to The Big Threesome haha), but hopefully it doesn't seem too disjointed! i also tried my best to portray how i thought they could navigate the language barrier, extrapolating from what i've seen from how bts members seem to interact with english media, but i'm not a korean speaker, so if there's something you think is inaccurate please let me know!
> 
> title is from "roman holiday" by halsey :) <3

_Now_

Namjoon's antsy, and he knows all the others can tell. He can't help it! It's just been a long fucking week, and he's finally going to have a full evening off for the first time in ages, and—Ashley's free tonight, too.

The others must know more than he realized, because as soon as they get back to the dorm from their shoot they're all making excuses to leave again.

"I'm heading to the studio to work on a track," Seokjin says, downing a sports drink before tossing another one in his bag with a protein bar and two bags of chips.

Yoongi grabs him by the sleeve as he passes. "I'll come with. In case, uh," he shoots Namjoon a quick, amused glance, "you need help."

"I don't need your _help_," Seokjin snipes playfully, but he tugs Yoongi along after him as he exits the apartment.

Jungkook and Taehyung follow soon after, but at that point Namjoon is past paying attention and misses their excuse.

And then there's Jimin, and Hoseok. Hoseok is sitting on the couch, reading a book. Jimin hovers near the entryway, eyes narrowed.

"Hyung," he says, then, "Hoseokie-hyung," to make Hoseok look up. "I'm going out to get some food, do you want to come with?"

Hoseok blinks at him placidly. "I'm good, Jimin-ah. Thanks, though!"

Jimin clears his throat, sending a meaningful glance Namjoon's way. Namjoon buries his face in one hand. "Are you _sure_?"

"Yeah?" Hoseok frowns slightly, the perfect picture of confusion. "Why?"

Sighing, Jimin says, "Never mind. I'll see you both in a few hours, I guess."

He leaves, and Hoseok drops the book. "You're so obvious, Namjoon-ah," he complains. "I have to do all the heavy lifting of pretending around here, and I'm so _bad_ at that."

Namjoon huffs out a laugh, dragging his hands down his flushed cheeks. "Well," he says, recalling the resigned, knowing look on Jimin's face. Maybe keeping it secret was a stupid idea in the first place, he thinks. He tilts his head to the side, feeling the stretch pull from jaw to shoulder, and then stretches his arms above his head until he feels something pop. "You ready?"

Hoseok nods. "Yeah, let me just finish this chapter. You go get cleaned up," he adds, with a dark look up and down Namjoon's body.

Namjoon exhales, face warming a little more, and goes.

_Before_

The thing is, everyone knows, from the beginning, that Namjoon has a little bit of a crush on Halsey—on Ashley, as she gives them permission to call her the second or third time they speak. "Stage names are cool," she says easily, "but most of my friends call me Ashley, and I think we're friends now, right?"

The others balk at it at first, a mix of starry-eyed admiration (Jungkook) and rigid professionalism (Hoseok) keeping them from crossing that boundary. Namjoon, though, thrills a little at the level of intimacy she's allowing them.

("No, not—not like _that_, Yoongi-hyung shut up, I just meant as friends—")

So he takes it upon himself to loosen everyone up, lighten the tone of their interactions into something more casual and free. Easier, because comfort breeds trust and trust is the recipe to a good creative partnership. He doesn't expect, however, just _how_ quickly and easily they fall into each other, Ashley fitting in with the group like she's always belonged there. It makes Namjoon pretty enamoured of her—even more than before, and he was, before, too.

He likes her _so much_. Namjoon crushes easily, but it's always been just as easy to convince himself not to pursue it, because come on. Who has time? Not him, that's for sure, not with writing and touring and recording and writing and shooting commercials and attending award shows and even _more_ writing—

But Ashley is just as busy, is the thing. She's well into creating her next album, already most of the songs written and more than half recorded. She's traveling nonstop too, performing to sold-out venues and then catching flights the same night, doing interviews (and talking about him and the others in them, glowing, lovingly affectionate things that make Namjoon grin stupidly just to hear them), but she still finds time to text Namjoon every few days. Once, she sends him a selfie from the plane, then an amazon link for a neck pillow that she swears will make him sleep like a baby, and it's so sweet, so shockingly, mundanely charming, that Namjoon buys it immediately and then throws his phone onto the couch dramatically, covering his face with his hands.

"You good?" Jungkook asks dryly, raising an eyebrow.

"Ugh," Namjoon groans, and gets up to go take a shower.

The problem is that it's getting harder and harder to convince himself not to shoot his shot. But that's stupid, right? If he can't even pull himself together enough to date someone in his own country, in his own fucking city, how is he going to date someone who lives halfway across the world? He's so busy—but they're both busy, so maybe that means she'll understand—but then again, if they're both busy, doesn't that mean it'll be twice as hard to schedule time together—

There's a knock on the bathroom door. "Namjoon-ah?" Hoseok calls. "You've been in there a while, everything okay?"

Shit. "I'll be out soon!" Namjoon shouts back.

"That's not an answer," replies Hoseok immediately, but doesn't argue further. Namjoon expects he'll get an interrogation as soon as he gets out, though. He sighs.

The next time they're all in the same place—when Ashley makes it to their Paris show to join them on stage—they all gather in her hotel room to drink and chat, cramming themselves just barely onto the couch and chairs (until a minute in when Taehyung drops a towel on the floor and sits down there). One thing that Namjoon still finds remarkable, still can't quite believe their luck in, is how _easy_ it is to add Ashley to the group dynamic. Jungkook laughs with her—_Yoongi_ laughs with her, loud and boyish, and Seokjin treats her with the same kind of quiet fondness he treats all of them, and Jimin actually seems to trust her enough to see both the sharp and soft sides of him, when usually he only reveals one at a time. Taehyung and Ashley were halfway through making plans to tour Paris together before they all realized they wouldn't have enough time in the city to make it work, and Hoseok—

Hoseok seems to like Ashley a lot, wants to impress her and entertain her and comfort her in equal measure, and it makes Namjoon feel full in a way he can't quite explain.

He's lost in thought, mulling it over while he translates absent-mindedly for whichever member needs it, when one of their managers texts to say that she's parked in front of the entrance to the lobby, and it's time for them to head back to their own hotel. Jungkook, mid-ramble about the editing of one of Halsey's music videos, talking extensively with his hands, cuts himself off with a little grumble-whine, flopping back against the couch.

"I know," Hoseok laughs, "but we really should go. We have a schedule tomorrow, remember?"

"Not till eleven," Yoongi argues. "And it's only—" he checks his phone "—half-past midnight right now."

"You know it'll be late by the time everyone's in bed," Hoseok rebuts, and they argue a little more, playful, Jimin chiming in occasionally, until finally Yoongi gives in.

They grab all their things slowly, then prepare to leave with great reluctance. Namjoon is last to get up from the couch, and when he stands, Ashley grabs his elbow.

"Hey," she says, then pauses.

Namjoon looks down at her. "Hey," he echoes. "What's up?"

"Can you—" She fidgets, looking shy, an expression he hasn't had a chance to see on her very often. "Stay for a second? I wanted to ask you something."

His stomach _swoops_. He's not an idiot, and he can make a pretty good guess of what she's going to ask.

"Yeah," he says, mouth dry. He turns: "Hey, uh—hyung? Can you tell manager-nim I'll catch up in a bit? Me and Ashley are gonna talk shop for a bit."

Seokjin eyes him knowingly. "Uh-huh. Talk shop, huh? Okay."

Namjoon flushes, hot.

Shaking his head, Seokjin says, "All right. Don't be back too late, we do have to work tomorrow. But yeah, Joon-ah, I'll cover for you."

"Thanks, hyung," Namjoon says, with a sigh of relief.

The others are barely out of the room before Ashley tugs him back down onto the couch. "I want to try something," she says, brow furrowed slightly with intent, her pretty freckles standing out against the sudden flush in her cheeks. Namjoon nods, twisting his hand in her grasp until their fingers flirt.

And then she's kissing him, hot and wet and insistent, and it takes Namjoon all he has not to fall apart in her grasp. It's cute how far she has to lean up to reach him, he thinks, and focuses on that instead of the way her hands tighten on his biceps so he doesn't completely fucking lose it.

"Was that okay?" Ashley says, pulling back.

Namjoon nods, dazed. "Uh-huh," he says blankly.

She laughs, throwing her head back and showing all her teeth and fuck—_fuck_, he likes her so much. He likes her _so much_. He could all too easily see himself falling in love with her, and the mere thought of it makes his heart thrum with joy even as his knees lock up in panic.

"I really like you," he says, and he can hear the plaintive uncertainty in his own voice, hoping for a response in kind.

Ashley's grin melts into something softer, a small, nervous smile. "I like you too," she says. "I wanna try being with you, if you're up for it."

Namjoon inhales shakily. "Yes," he says, then laughs, giddy. "Yeah, yes, let's—let's do it."

They make out for a little while, the world going fuzzy around Namjoon as he focuses everything he has on the press of Ashley's lips against his own. At some point, they make their way over to her bed, and Namjoon ends up with his back against the headboard, Ashley on his lap. He puts his hands on her hips to ground himself, but unconsciously they inch up and under the hem of her shirt, until his fingers hit bare skin. He jolts, and Ashley makes a little cut-off noise. He thinks it's a good one though, from the way she reaches back to grab his wrist, drawing it up higher, up past her waist, until his hand is spanning her ribcage. Namjoon exhales through his nose, thumbs stroking the skin just under her breast, and Ashley smiles against his mouth before pulling back to kiss down his neck.

He's sensitive there, and before he realizes he's got his head tipped back against the headboard, a stifled whine escaping through his teeth.

Laughing softly, Ashley grinds down into his lap, and Namjoon groans.

"Ashley," he gasps. "Ash—"

His phone dings, and Namjoon groans again, for a very different reason. His forehead thunks down onto Ashley's shoulder.

"You gotta go?" she asks, sounding disappointed but not upset. _Namjoon's_ upset, though, even though he knew their time was limited.

"Probably," he sighs. He reaches for his phone to check the time, and sees that he has a text from Hoseok.

_you coming back tonight?_ it reads, suggestive even without tone, and Namjoon flushes.

_yeah, yeah, leaving soon._ he sends back.

He throws his phone back down onto the bed, then looks up to meet Ashley's eyes. She's smiling at him still, eyes crinkled. Her face is flushed and her lips are puffy and Namjoon thinks—_I did that_. The thought warms him, even as he feels disappointment prick at his insides. "I wish I didn't have to go," he says quietly.

"Me too, baby," Ashley says, and oh, that sounds really nice when she says it. She slides off his lap to sit next to him, leaning on his shoulder. "When will you have a break tomorrow?"

"We should have some time in the afternoon," Namjoon says, running through their schedule in his head. "I'll—I'll call you?"

She nods. "We can talk more then, okay?"

"Okay," says Namjoon. He grabs her hand, and kisses the knuckles. He knows it's a bit of a cheesy move, but Ashley just gives him a startled, fond look.

He likes her so much. He wants this to work so badly. He's terrified of how much he wants it, and he can see from her expression that Ashley's a little overwhelmed, too. Strangely, that makes him feel better.

_Now_

By the time Namjoon has showered and dried his hair, Hoseok is waiting for him on his bed. He watches with interest as Namjoon bends down to grab a pair of shorts from the dresser, throwing it on with a loose tank top.

"Why are you bothering to get dressed when you know you're just going to take it off again?" Hoseok questions, laughter in his voice. He, himself, is only wearing a pair of boxers.

"You ask me this every time!" Namjoon fires back, climbing up onto the bed next to him. He grabs the laptop from where it sits at the edge of his bed, and opens it up. Hoseok leans his head on his shoulder. "I feel weird calling Ashley when I'm already naked...what if someone's there with her?"

Hoseok rolls his eyes fondly. "Who's going to be with her, Joon-ah? She's calling you _specifically_ to have sex."

Namjoon flushes. "Who knows—maybe tonight she won't be in the mood, and we'll just talk. That would be fine too, you know."

Hoseok covers his mouth with his hand, failing to hide his secret little smile. "Somehow I doubt that'll happen, though."

Before Namjoon can retort, though, his laptop chimes with an incoming video call. He picks up.

"Hey, you two!" Ashley greets them with a broad smile. Namjoon feels warmth spread through him like honey at the sight of her. He spoke to her on the phone the day before, but there's nothing like seeing her face. "What have you been up to?"

Hoseok waves charmingly at her. "Fighting," he says cheerfully, his smile widening when Ashley laughs.

"Fighting? About what?"

Hoseok nudges Namjoon with an elbow, and Namjoon rolls his eyes, sighing. "Hobi thinks it's redundant for me to get dressed to call you when we're just gonna—you know."

Ashley furrows her brow mock-thoughtfully. "Hmm," she says. "A very interesting argument. I have to say, I think I see his point, Joon."

"Ah, you two," Namjoon says ruefully, as Hoseok crows victoriously. "Always ganging up on me."

"You're just so fun to tease," Hoseok says cheekily, as Ashley's eyes scrunch up with good humor. "Now let me get you out of those clothes."

_Before_

"Hope-ah," Namjoon says, pleasantly surprised. Hoseok smiles and gives him a little wave. "What's up? You need something?"

"I wanted to listen to that demo track again—you still have it?"

Namjoon blinks, stepping aside to let him in. "Demo...oh! Yeah, I think the flash drive is in my bag somewhere." He makes for his duffel, then hesitates, checking his phone for the time.

Hoseok catches the motion. "Am I interrupting something?"

"No, no—I was just gonna call Ashley at ten," Namjoon explains.

"Oh!" Hoseok's eyes widen. "Oh, no, you should go do that! I could keep looking...if you don't mind me intruding for a bit?"

Namjoon rolls his eyes. "You're not intruding, Hoseok-ah," he says warmly.

Hoseok smiles at him toothily, then goes to dig through Namjoon's bag, while Namjoon goes to set up his laptop. After a moment, Hoseok asks, "You still wearing contacts?"

"No," Namjoon shakes his head. "Why?"

"You don't mind seeing a fuzzy blob instead of your girlfriend?" Hoseok says dryly.

Namjoon laughs. "My eyesight isn't that bad!"

"You'll strain your eyes!" Hoseok nags playfully, pulling out Namjoon's toiletries from the side zip of his duffel. "You'll get stress headaches, Joon-ah!"

"The frames were already giving me a headache," Namjoon pouts. "I think they're too tight or someth—" His computer beeps as the call goes through, and he grins widely as Ashley's face comes into view. "Hey!" he greets cheerfully.

"Hey, Joon!" Ashley beams back. She tilts her head. "Are you wearing your contacts still?"

Namjoon sighs, and Hoseok bursts into laughter.

Ashley brightens. "Is that Hoseok?"

Hoseok ducks around until he can see the screen, then sends it a pair of finger-guns. "Hi~i," he sings, with the aegyo that comes so naturally to him. He turns it off sometimes around other people, but Ashley told him in the first week they knew each other that she thought he was cute and wanted to keep him around to lift all her bad moods, and ever since then, Hoseok gives her a little extra. "Don't worry, I'm just leaving. I'll let you have your privacy," he adds with a showy wink, and Namjoon flushes, shoving his shoulder roughly.

Ashley laughs. "You can stay!" she says, but Hoseok waves her off.

"No, no, I have things to do," he says.

"What things?" Namjoon asks suspiciously.

"Important things," Hoseok says primly, and then shoots him two finger guns. And then he's gone, before Namjoon can even think to ask him whether he got the flash drive or not.

"Actually, maybe it's better that he didn't stay," Ashley says suddenly, startling him out of his thoughts. "I wanted to talk to you about something."

Namjoon's stomach flips anxiously, and he scolds it silently. _It's not going to be something terrible_, he thinks. _She wouldn't have been so cheerful earlier if it was. Calm down._ "Oh?"

"I wanted to talk to you about sex," Ashley says.

Namjoon curls his hand loosely in the bedspread. "What about it?" he says casually.

Ashley fixes him with a look. "Namjoon," she says, "you know what. We talked about this when we first started dating."

They had—Namjoon had confessed, embarrassed, that his sex drive often felt like too much for him to handle on his own, and he was worried about how it would mix with an exclusive long-distance relationship. Ashley had asked him, calmly, whether he wanted to keep their relationship open, then—she'd done it before with a previous relationship, she said—but something in him had balked at the idea and instead, he blurted out, "Let's wait, before doing that. Maybe we can find another way."

Ashley had exhaled, and Namjoon could see from the relieved set of her shoulders that she hadn't wanted to, either.

Which is what leaves him confused, now. Has she changed her mind? He doesn't think he has, is the thing.

"I don't think I'm comfortable opening things up fully—" Ashley begins.

Namjoon heaves a sigh of relief. "Oh, good," he says, and then blanches. "Sorry, sorry, continue."

Ashley rolls her eyes at him good-naturedly, but the interruption seems to relax her too. "I don't want an open relationship, but it sounds like that's okay with you?" He nods, and she continues, "but I sometimes miss being touched too, so I was thinking...maybe if we picked, like. _One_ person for each of us, who the other person knows and approves of, just to take some of the edge off?"

And that's an idea—it doesn't immediately set him on edge to think about, and he finds the thought of it intriguing. "Who were you thinking you'd ask?" he asks.

Ashley names one of the members of her touring band, who Namjoon doesn't know well but likes well enough. She taps a finger against her mouth, focusing on him a little more intently. "You have anyone in mind?"

Namjoon freezes.

"Uh," he says, and has to suppress the instinct to glance at the closed hotel room door that Hoseok just left out of.

"That sounds like a yes," Ashley says, with a slow grin, and Namjoon sighs.

"Yeah," he says. "I have an idea of who to ask."

The hard part ends up being talking to Hoseok. Namjoon is...scared, of being rejected, or being laughed at, or being told that he's making an irresponsible, selfish request of his bandmate. But none of that happens; instead, once he works up the courage to ask, Hoseok looks at him with wide, uncertain eyes, and says, "I want to say yes, but—aren't you worried this might...change things?"

"Change things how?" Namjoon asks, heart in his throat.

"I don't know," Hoseok mutters, glancing at his feet. "Won't it mess with our dynamic? You and me? I don't want to ruin what we have, Namjoon-ah."

Namjoon grabs his hand impulsively. "It won't," he reassures him. "It won't change anything at all, Hobi, I promise. It'll just be—as friends. Friends helping friends."

"Friends helping friends," Hoseok echoes. Slowly, he starts to smile, and interlaces his fingers with Namjoon's. "Okay, then. Let's do it."

_Now_

Hoseok strips Namjoon quickly, hands hot and possessive all over Namjoon's skin. Here and there, he skims his fingers over Namjoon's ribs, digs them into the meat of his thigh, tweaks his nipple lightly and then laughs in delight at the groan it elicits.

"Ashley next," he says, when he's done, and Namjoon agrees eagerly.

They both watch in open-mouthed silence as Ashley strips her shirt off. She hadn't been wearing a bra, and Namjoon has to swallow a desperate noise at the sight of her. He sucks his lower lip between his teeth and imagines pressing his mouth to her throat, her collarbones, the underside of her breast, licking over the tattoo there and then nipping at it gently to make her shudder.

"She's pretty," Hoseok says quietly, in Korean, with a tinge of awe. Namjoon blows out a deep breath, and tries to get a hold of himself.

Ashley smiles, a bright flash of surprised pleasure. "I know that word," she laughs, and Hoseok laughs too, face reddening a little.

It's cute, Namjoon thinks with a little pang. They're cute like this, playful and flirty and shy as if they haven't been having frequent and filthy sex for months now. Something's different about today, and Namjoon doesn't know what it is, but he—

He likes it.

There's an edge of anticipation to every word, every touch they give him, and at several points he sees Ashley catch Hoseok's eye over Namjoon's shoulder, sharing a secret smile. They're up to something, Namjoon realizes, and voices the thought aloud.

A smile plays at the corner of Hoseok's lips. Ashley says innocently, "What makes you say that?"

Namjoon mock-scowls. "Fine, don't tell me then," he sulks. Hoseok laughs, smacking a kiss to his cheek, and then another one, soft and open-mouthed, to the hinge of his jaw. Namjoon exhales on a sigh and tilts his head back, and Hoseok takes the tacit invitation. His hand comes up to hold Namjoon's in place by the side of his neck, fingers pressing at his throat—not tightly, but _present_ in a way that makes Namjoon swallow heavily. Hoseok kisses him there, gently and then sharply; finds all his softest and more vulnerable spots and closes his mouth over them, sucking until his blood rushes to the surface.

Soon, Hoseok has Namjoon pressed against the mattress, two fingers tucked inside him and swiftly making him fall apart. It isn't the first time Hoseok's fingered him, but it's the first time he's done it with so much _intent_. He has Namjoon gasping and pleading within seconds, it feels like, and all it gets him is Hoseok's smug little smirk and narrow-eyed look as he puts a third finger in. Ashley voices her appreciation with a sharp moan, and Namjoon looks over at the screen to see that her hand has disappeared past the bottom of it, between her legs. He can guess at what she's doing from the movement of her forearm, but he knows she's kept it deliberately off screen to tease him. Unconsciously, his lips purse out with disappointment, and she takes one look at him before laughing out loud.

Several minutes pass, and Hoseok pulls his fingers out, and pats Namjoon's hip gently before drawing away.

Namjoon is expecting Hoseok to fuck him. It isn't something they've done before—not by any explicit agreement, though, and in fact it seems improbable that they should have managed to come this far without trying it. Of course Namjoon has thought about it, even fantasized about it, before, but he hasn't dwelled on it. Now, though, the thought invades his mind like a cloud of glitter, dazzling and wonderfully distracting and reflecting every flicker of desire he feels back at him tenfold.

He wonders if this is what Hobi and Ashley have been planning, that's got them so cagey.

Hoseok pulls a condom packet out from somewhere, and Namjoon catches his breath. "Are you—?" he begins.

Instead of a response, he gets a soft hum as Hoseok bends again over the bedside table to reach for something else. He comes back with a dildo grasped casually in his hand, face almost comically triumphant.

Namjoon gapes at him like a fish. "I—what? When did you—has that been there the whole time?"

He says it half in Korean, but his tone must be clear enough because Ashley teases, "You're not the most observant, are you, Joon?"

"You're both just too distracting," whines Namjoon, pouting a little, and they laugh at him in stereo, Hoseok leaning in to plant a soft kiss against his lips.

"Turn around," he says.

Namjoon swallows, and obeys. On his elbows and knees, he feels Hoseok trail a hand down his back and shivers, parting his legs and offering himself up as best as he can.

"Pretty," Hoseok says. "Pretty Namjoonie," and Ashley says _mm-hmm_ and Namjoon thinks he might die, he's so fucking turned on.

"You know we planned this," Hoseok says, and Namjoon nods, then drops his head between his shoulders with a groan when Hoseok rubs the flared head of the dildo over his hole. "Know why?"

"N-no," Namjoon stutters, arching back and cursing when Hoseok pulls the dildo away instead of letting it enter him. "_Fuck_, come on, Hope-ah."

"Ashley told me you two had talked about her fucking you someday," Hoseok continues, gleefully ignoring Namjoon's plea. "I thought maybe we could make it happen a little early."

Namjoon inhales sharply. "Oh," he breathes.

"If you close your eyes," Hoseok murmurs, leaning in so close Namjoon shivers feeling his breath on his neck, "you can pretend it's her." He presses the dildo in, barely a few millimeters in, before pulling it back out to tease at Namjoon's hole. "It'll be like I'm not even here."

Namjoon's stomach flips, and not in a good way. "What?" he says blankly. He reaches back and grabs Hoseok's hand to hold it still. "Hold on— Hoseok-ah, what do you mean?"

_Before_

Like all of them, Hoseok has been practicing his English persistently, hoping to be able to communicate his sincerity to international fans and media without so many layers of separation. However, during the filming for the MV, Namjoon notices a brand new fire in him. Hoseok is almost always in motion, energy exploding out from him in all directions, but when he's talking to Ashley he uses his hands constantly: broad, expansive gestures to add meaning where his vocabulary falls short.

It works, too! It works really well, actually—but even as Namjoon feels his chest warm with affectionate pride, he can tell that Hoseok isn't quite satisfied.

"You know Halsey doesn't mind, right?" Namjoon asks casually, over their mid-afternoon snack break. Ashley's left for the day, back to her hotel and then on to another schedule, but Namjoon and the members have to be back on set in half an hour. He's stripped down to his tank top to try to cool down, and he plucks at the fabric to try to dry some of the sweat underneath. "If you can't say everything in English? She won't be weird about it." _Not like some others might be_ is the implied meaning, only left unsaid because he's pretty sure there's a staff member filming a few feet away. Namjoon knows very well there are some American artists (the white ones especially) who would judge them for lack of fluency, but Ashley—she isn't one of them.

Hoseok shakes his head. "No, no," he sighs, "I know that. It's not that I'm worried about. It's just—frustrating. I want to say so much more, you know? But there's only so much you can say with a few dozen phrases and an arsenal of sound effects, you know? It makes me feel...a little useless."

Namjoon frowns. "Hope-ah...I didn't know you were so upset about this, I'm sorry. Have you been holding this in all this time?"

After a moment of thoughtful silence, Hoseok shakes his head again. "No, not really. I mean, I've always felt bad about how much more work you have to do in the States, but I don't feel bad about the English itself. It's just...it's just that Halsey's a friend. She's not just some random interviewer, or a celebrity that I like that I'll see once at an awards show and never again. She's not a _stranger_, she's our friend." His brow furrows, lips pursing unconsciously as his frustration bubbles up to the surface again. "And right now she's our teammate too! I want to be able to tell her what she's doing right and help her when she's nervous or struggling with something, just like I would all of you. And it bugs me that there's this thing stopping me from doing that."

"That makes sense." Namjoon fiddles with the cap of his water bottle absently. Hoseok is such an excellent person, he thinks. So thoughtful, and so dedicated to their team. Namjoon wants to give him everything he possibly can. "Maybe, if you want, we could make a list together of more specific phrases you think you'd need for future rehearsals or filming?"

Slowly, Hoseok nods. "Yeah, that would be really nice, actually. We're meeting up with her again tomorrow, right?"

"Yep."

"Maybe tonight we could go over a few things, then?"

Namjoon smiles. "Sure! I'll make sure we have some time alone later."

Hoseok finally cracks a smile, a small but sincere, relieved thing. "Thanks, Joon-ah. I really appreciate it."

Just like every time Hoseok looks at him like that—fond, happy, thankful, the love radiating outward like a banked campfire—Namjoon blushes a little. "Don't mention it."

Namjoon quizzes Hoseok on a handful of phrases that night in his bedroom, triaging so that they can tackle the most immediately useful ones first. "What do you want to be able to talk about with her most often?" he asks, and Hoseok pauses thoughtfully.

"Dance," he says. "Performance. I want to be able to help her where she needs help, and make her feel like a part of the team."

"Which one of us is the leader?" teases Namjoon.

Hoseok raises an eyebrow. "In performance? Should I answer that question?"

"Yah!" Namjoon laughs, smacking his arm. Hoseok blocks him with a dramatic yelp, and the two of them tussle for a little bit, giggling and swearing and banging their elbows into the furniture like children, before finally Namjoon gives, flopping onto his back on the floor. Hoseok nods decisively like he's had some great victory, and perches on the mattress. Namjoon quirks his lips up at him. "You done procrastinating, now?"

Making a face, Hoseok kicks his feet against the floor. "I hate studying," he complains.

"No one's making you do this," Namjoon reminds him. "You can call it a night."

"No," Hoseok sighs. "I can't. All right, let's do this."

Namjoon smiles at him a little quizzically. "You really care about this, don't you?"

Hoseok nods. He chews his lip thoughtfully for a moment, then says. "There's something about her...she just fits, you know? In with the rest of us. I want to do my part to make our friendship stronger."

"Yeah," Namjoon says. His chest clenches with affection. "Yeah, I get you." He sits up, cracks his knuckles, and grabs his notebook from where it fell to the ground during their wrestling. "All right, we can do this. Let's start with some phrases you had trouble translating today..."

Obviously it's not an immediate fix, but Hoseok is a fast learner. By the next day, he's memorized enough short phrases to make communicating choreography go twice as smooth, and by break time he and Ashley are teasing and playing around together, making up silly dance moves on the spot while Jungkook collapses onto the floor with laughter a few feet away. Hoseok catches Namjoon's eye and flashes him a grin and a thumbs-up, and Namjoon grins back.

By the next time they talk to each other—a video call between the members and Ashley to discuss upcoming promotions, Hoseok only has to ask Namjoon a few times to translate, deftly steering the conversation to the areas he feels most comfortable with. A couple of weeks later, Hoseok asks Namjoon for Ashley's number. "It's easier sometimes to text in English than talk," he explains, and Namjoon nods his understanding, reading the number off from his phone with a smile.

The next move comes from Ashley's end, when they meet in person next and Hoseok asks something about the schedule in Korean, and Ashley responds before Namjoon can even translate. She explains sheepishly that she's not so good at speaking Korean yet, because sentence structure is _hard_, but she's been practicing and she's getting decently good at picking out just enough words to get the gist of conversations. "I still have to answer in English, though, sorry," she laughs, and Hoseok waves her apology off immediately.

"No, no! I'm—the same," he replies, and starts laughing too. They practice the rest of the afternoon, and carry on a conversation pretty easily that way, Hoseok saying things in Korean and Ashley responding in English. More than once, Namjoon catches himself grinning at them so wide that his cheeks hurt, and he has to look away so he doesn't get distracted from dancing.

"It's nice to see them getting along so well," Jimin says to him, at the end of the day.

"Yeah," Namjoon agrees. "It is."

_Now_

"What's going on?" Ashley asks, tone wary.

"Give us a sec?" Namjoon replies. "I just gotta—" He kneels up and shuffles around to face Hoseok, who's looking at him with complete confusion. "Hoseok-ah," he says softly. "What did you mean by that?"

"What do you mean what did I mean?" Hoseok replies blankly.

"When you said it would be like you weren't—" Namjoon's shoulders draw up a little. "Lie you weren't even there. Why would you say that?"

Hoseok looks between him and the laptop screen—between him and Ashley. "You're upset," he says slowly. "I don't understand."

Namjoon shakes his head. "Why would we want to pretend you're not here?"

"Because—" Hoseok makes a frustrated noise, throwing his hands up. "I don't know! Isn't that the whole point of," he holds up the dildo still clutched in his hand, "this?"

"Okay I really need someone to fill me in here," Ashley interjects tersely. "I'm catching a little, but..."

Namjoon nods. "Of course, sorry," he says, and translates quickly. Hoseok sets the dildo down and fidgets awkwardly with his hands during, and Namjoon watches as Ashley's expression gets increasingly distraught.

"Hoseok," she says. "I just thought we could pretend that I was there too, not—that you weren't—"

"But," Hoseok says, face creasing. "If you're here, why would I be?"

Ashley looks at Namjoon with wide eyes. "_Joon_."

Namjoon exhales like he's been hit. "Fuck. Man, I fucked this up. Okay, I'm gonna—in Korean, first, and then," he begins, and Ashley makes an impatient gesture in affirmative. He turns to Hoseok. "Hope-ah," he begins, and then falters. "I thought you knew..._fuck_, this is hard." He drags a hand down his face, and shivers a little. The air in the room feels unreasonably cold against his bare skin, now that they've stopped fucking. "I thought you knew that I _like_ having you here. I want you here, I _like_ that it's you touching me like this. You're not just...a stand-in."

"Aren't I?" Hoseok asks quietly, and Namjoon flinches.

"_No_. This isn't just—this isn't casual for me," Namjoon says helplessly.

Hoseok's eyes harden a little. "No? Weren't you the one who said _just friends helping friends, Hoseok-ah_, huh? When did that change?"

"Nothing _changed_," argues Namjoon, voice sharper than he intends, frustration getting the best of him. "I've always wanted—"

He cuts himself off, and Hoseok stares at him, wide-eyed.

After a moment of stillness, Hoseok swallows, and then: "You never said anything. I thought those were just the terms of our arrangement, and I didn't think...it was my place to change them."

Namjoon closes his eyes briefly. "I'm sorry. I never should have—let me say it now." He sighs, reaching out to trace a finger lightly over Hoseok's knee, struggling to look at his face as he confesses. "Hoseok-ah, you're important to me—to both of us. You know that Ashley has her own...arrangement with a friend too, right?" Hoseok hums an affirmative. "Do you think we do this—" Namjoon gestures around him, at the two of them naked on the bed, at the laptop propped up so that Ashley can see the both of them easily "—with her?"

Shaking his head, Hoseok says, softly, "I don't know."

"Well, we don't," Namjoon says. "Because I don't know her, and she doesn't know me. But you and Ashley like each other, right?" He looks up at Hoseok from under his lashes. "You're not _just_ doing this for me, right?"

Hoseok flinches, a guilty, hunted expression crossing his face. _Oh, no_, Namjoon thinks. He keeps messing things up.

"Ashley," he says, switching back to English. "Can you tell Hoseok that you like him, too?"

Ashley looks at him, brow creasing a little, but seems to get what he's trying to convey. "I really like you, Hoseok," she says, softly. "I just like being around you, and every time we get closer it makes me so happy. I—care about you. We're friends, right?"

Hoseok keeps his eyes on Namjoon as he says, "What if I want more? More than friends?"

Ashley pauses, wetting her lips nervously. "With who? Me or Joon?"

"Both," Hoseok says, jaw tensing.

"Then," Ashley says, and exhales. "I think we can make that work, don't you, Joon?"

Namjoon nods, and Hoseok's eyes widen, and only get wider when he turns to look at Ashley and sees her slowly growing smile. "Oh," he says. "_Oh_. Yeah?"

"Yeah," Namjoon says, voice hoarse. He wants Hoseok, wants to have him wholly and completely. He wants to put labels on it, wants to be _boyfriends_, wants to have all the painful discussion and negotiations all three of them need to have. He wants to tell the others; he wants to tell his parents.

But all that can wait. For now, he just says, in Korean, "I love you, Hope-ah."

Hoseok's face does something peculiar, a little scrunched up thing, that it takes Namjoon a weighty beat to realize is his trying-not-to-cry face.

"Oh no," Namjoon says out loud, and when Hoseok laughs at him, it only sounds a little wet.

"This sucks," he complains, brushing his bangs back from his forehead and laughing again. "I'm such a mess."

"Don't cry, Hoseok," Namjoon says.

Ashley laughs and repeats, "Don't cry! We still have to fuck Namjoon, remember?"

Namjoon freezes like a startled rabbit. "I forgot," he whispers.

"I didn't," says Ashley, with relish.

Hoseok looks between the two of them, then closes his eyes. He inhales through his nose and exhales through his mouth, like he's centering himself. When he opens his eyes again, they're dark with intent, and Namjoon straightens instinctively.

"Look what you did, Joon-ah," Hoseok whines teasingly. "You got us all distracted. Now I'll have to finger you again."

"You really probably don't," Namjoon says quickly, but Hoseok's already shoving him onto his back and forcibly spreading his knees.

"Gotta make sure you're open enough to take Ashley," Hoseok says with a wink, picking the dildo up again and brandishing it meaningfully.

Namjoon chokes back a laugh. "Okay," he says, then adds, innocently, "Will you fuck me after she does, Hoseok-ah?"

Hoseok's eyes widen, and he looks momentarily like he got hit over the head. Then he recovers, and his eyes narrow. "You'd like that, wouldn't you? Both of us fucking you, one after the other? Are you that greedy, Namjoon-ah?"

"_Mm-hmm_," Namjoon says with a cheeky smirk, and smiles at Ashley before Hoseok opens him up on two fingers, rendering him speechless.

(When Hoseok pushes the dildo in finally, Namjoon feels emotion bubble up in him so strongly he almost starts crying. His hand flies out to clutch at Hoseok's forearm again, but this time it's not to stop him, but just so Namjoon has something to ground him.

"God," Ashley says, sounding breathless. "You look so pretty, baby."

With his eyes closed, it _does_ almost sound like she's there with them, and Namjoon bucks into the unyielding press of the dildo, bites down so hard on his bottom lip that it aches.

Hoseok rubs his thumb over Namjoon's lip until he releases it from between his teeth, and then coaxes his mouth open, thumb dipping in to brush over his tongue. Namjoon gasps, then moans when he feels Hoseok's mouth press against his own. At this point, Namjoon's so wrecked—strung out from Hoseok's teasing earlier and emotionally worn out from everything after—that he can't muster the strength to do more than just let Hoseok use him. He tilts his head back so that Hoseok can lean up and lick into his mouth, spreading his thighs wide so the dildo can go in deeper. He can hear Hoseok's breathing picking up, and in harmony, Namjoon hears Ashley's moans get breathier as she starts to get close.

"Baby," she groans, and Namjoon nods almost frantically. "You're being so good for him, Joon. Can't wait to do this in person, bet you'll feel so good—_fuck_."

He opens his bleary eyes just in time to see her throw her head back, crying out as her hand works between her legs.

"Shit," Hoseok says, his free hand dropping to fist his own cock.

Namjoon whines, kicking him in the hip. "No, Hoseok-ah, fuck me," he pleads, and Hoseok stares at him, breathing hard, then nods.

Neither of them last very long. Namjoon's on the edge from the moment Hoseok pushes into him, and he yanks Hoseok closer with an arm around his shoulders until he can bury his face in Hoseok's neck. "Namjoon-ah," Hoseok breathes, and Namjoon squeezes his eyes shut, overwhelmed. When Hoseok reaches a hand between them and starts to slowly jerk him off, Namjoon cries out, thighs tensing up so bad he can feel the muscle jump erratically. He presses his forehead against Hoseok's shoulder and then tosses his head back, hears himself get louder and louder until finally the tension snaps, and he spills over Hoseok's hand with a desperate moan of relief.

"Oh, god," he moans. "Oh, fuck, Hoseok—"

Hoseok laughs in his ear again, low and amused, and Namjoon shivers. His hand tightens compulsively against Hoseok's shoulder, and a second later he feels Hoseok's shuddering exhale against his cheek as he comes, hips stuttering.)

**Author's Note:**

> and then the next time they meet in person they all get together in one hotel room and halsey pegs hoseok into oblivion, the end


End file.
